how to hear a sentence

I read an article on the brain and then I read a whole textbook about it. The bedroom was public. So I took myself to the bathroom where I could lock the door. Lifted the same square from the floor. Childhood is stupid, and so is studying the self in a general way, unless you are writing poetry.

Thinking is only good when it’s a trick, and trick it we do. Usually we need only close our eyes.

What am I doing being so silver.

We hate to see the future. What a horrid thing, the things we can see that really do happen. I can’t imagine myself riding the bus home and then actually going and doing it, and so I take the subway instead. With airplanes it is harder.

Let’s say I spent a lot of time on one paragraph in 2004. Let’s say it was about a cave. I wound about the cave, disguised as a man named Larry. I read him aloud in parked cars to make him a better dreamer. Larry, dream better. I learned that I hate working these things out in the open; it bores the fiction.

Moments of intimacy with language are often marked by urgency, and are often as stupid as childhood. There is a reckless abandon that overcomes when there is both something to say and a way to say it. This instinctual relationship of a person to the translation of experience is retrospective and present at once. The receiver of language, similarly, is present, but is also inside of several other memories, and subjected to the usual intrusive assimilations.

The need to hold initiative and narrative desire together in a single strategic space.

To distance oneself from the vastness of a petty emotional connection. To forget some terribly overwrought piece of media.

When _____________ recorded his every utterance from ____________ to ___________ and made it into a book, all hell broke loose, and a sad story was produced.

Narrative is not as immediate to the nature of experience as immediate to the nature of ____________ as

Understand that we do not wish to make you think too hard, because for us to come all this way (and speak up along about these issues despite all the concurrent discussion), and emerge only with a lot more thinking would be culturally doomed. Doom and discussion, we can find anywhere, and we can have anywhere, because it is both pervasive and interior. The mind is a tricky but manageable construct of will and influence and chemicals, but the network at large is a singular fabric, where mythological and physical truths commingle. The spirit of our endeavor, therefore, is mostly relevant in its glaring capitulation to a scientifically obsessed culture where the stated things agree with the stated things. However, we believe that this requires more magic than statements. We do not intend to open up a tendency towards debate, reduction, or sadness. Instead, we wish to provide means with which to consistently control the day with meticulous doses of inspiration and logic.

He always came back for an early dinner and gave me his notebooks to transcribe. They were full of scribbles about survival. He had many unfinished musings on how the word changed in different forms and tenses. Survivor. Survived. Surviving. To survive someone. He described the industrial area where he had spent most of his time. He described days of arduous work in the present tense, the past tense, and the future tense. He wrote a disconcerting number of lines about injury, but it was hard for me to tell if they were literal, or if they were metaphors for living with an illusive yet ubiquitous sense of repression. I, at any rate, preferred to think of them as illustrations of the violence of being undervalued and underpaid. The notes clearly conveyed that he had been intimate with the people he met there; it made sense; his own background could never make him disingenuous. Even though the entries were mostly descriptive, there was an autobiographical heaviness, and I eventually began to decipher the cause: He never expected his life to be so well-defined, his connections so vivid.

I am here to assure you that everything containing in this – [points to the text on the sheet of paper] – is now in there – [points to the screen, which has just warmed up and is glowing and then glowing more].

Named the vessel discovery just before i woke up as a shameless populist
thinking hierarchy organizes community,
thinking, perhaps what i am avoiding is an unproblematic body,
of duality and divinity; of parallel dialectics.

dropped it on the floor and then put it in my mouth, seeking grail without roads, symbol without map.

matching lexicon to
lifeline. as someone else

begins to see what happened to us.

if you agree

it is only fantasy

confirming the objective. When we are willing

to imagine, what are we are willing?

pad of paper in a utility belt

You say go quickly. Through odd passages, seek not mull or crest

Splendid work in further field:
Wisdom watches through a crack

To encode the space a moment, one stunning promise in the close

The last unspoiled
held upright by pillar, rubbing down her bones

You reach, to get a finger on her neck:
you: un-pitied,
her: a stain a mess

Leave the word unwrit— untangled, and ill-bred

Organ chasing, choking baby; he is wincing now again

Pacing and unfurling
collapsing house of nouns
Determined sound; now broken; hollowed stops; matter fresh

For sake of going out and on, rise up for half the day
The night will come and wed